celeb status

I don't care about celebrity gossip, I've never step foot in the state of California, and I agree with Jefferson's "all men are created equal" thing. And somehow now I find myself toying with the prospects of being a celebrity personal assistant! After doing a little research it seems like some people involved in this celebrity personal assistant industry are retarded. One guide states, "as a celebrity personal assistant you can earn up to $100,000 per year, and enjoy an incredible lifestyle that most people can only dream about." Seriously? It's going to take a lot more than $100,000 to give me a lifestyle that I can only dream about. $100,000 isn't a flashy amount of annual salary, not to mention this lifestyle only I can dream about. In my dreams, I own entire cities, I have closets full of Chanel gowns, and I get free rum and cokes delivered to me by male supermodels. "In return for screening fan mail, answering phones, and planning parties, celebrity personal assistants are allowed to enter an exclusive world and live like a star." This sentence is entirely contradicting. Living like a star means having someone screen your fan mail and answer your phones, right? You cannot be "living like a star" if opening mail and answering phones is a primary part of your occupation. "A good celebrity personal assistant (CPA) functions as coordinator, friend, and just about anything else that a famous person might require." I wonder how many Certified Public Accountants have had to explain themselves after stating that they are a CPA, and vice-versa.

"[Benefits include] box seats to concerts like N’Sync, traveling first class, phone calls from your celeb’s colleagues like Jamie Lee Curtis and even my very own Palm Pilot courtesy of the boss. Whenever I travel with the boss everyone sees us as a team, and we both get the VIP treatment. Oh, and of course guest lists on any club of your choice."
-–David Katz, Celebrity Personal Assistant to
Steve Burns of Nickelodeon’s Blues Clues